Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ask Angie: How to avoid the snark

For a lot of people, it seems that holiday cheer is often accompanied by holiday jeer - those unpleasant comments from family. The comments usually involve some commentary on your life choices. I would like to offer some optional responses.

"Do you have a boyfriend yet?"
- Yes, but he's spending the holiday with his wife and kids.
- I've decided a string of  drunken one night stands is the way to go.
- What? Do I have a toy end? I don't even know what that is. (Walk away shaking head muttering someone's been hitting the whiskey a little early).

"So, when are you getting married?"
- When it's legal for all people regardless of sexual preference to marry.
- When we save enough for a spectacular ring.  Want to donate $100 to the cause?
- When the housing market turns around.
- Dude, you ruined the surprise.

"So, when are you having children?"
- Once we figure how where they come from. Do you know how babies are made?
- Once there is a new stock available, Angelina adopted them all.

Do you have a job yet? Are you still at that old job? When are you going to get a job?
- It's classified. Seriously, I can't talk about it.

When in doubt, a good old fashioned, "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about that here." and turn and walk will also do the trick as will hiding in the bathroom.

Happy Holidays!

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