Thanks to my trusty library card I have read a lot of books this year, but these are the books that really stand out in my mind as I sit here today. Enjoy and get a library card!
Three cups of tea by Greg Mortenson
Greg Mortenson was a high altitude climber who ended up in a small Pakistan village after a climb went wrong. After spending time there, he came to realize his call in life was to build schools in Pakistan. This book is an absolute page turner. It really shines a light into life in Pakistan. I found this particularly interesting given our ongoing war in Afghanistan. A must read!
I’ll scream later by Marlee Matlin
Marlee Matlin’s autobiography is fantastic. I really didn’t know much about her or her life when I started reading this book. Her story is fascinating, scandalous and a joy to read.
Joanne Fluke Murder Mysteries
Joanne Fluke has a series of murder mysteries that take place in a small town in Minnesota. The heroine is a bakery owner who always stumbles into murders and then somehow outsmarts the police into finding the killer. I love these books for a few reasons: 1. They have recipes for delicious baked goods. 2. The heroine is a pudgy, wild-haired, over 30 bakery owner who is juggling a minimum of two boyfriends. 3. It nails Minnesota. It’s a super easy read. You’ll figure out who did it pretty quickly, but still enjoy the ride.
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
This book fundamentally changed the way I look at food. Kingsolver, a popular author, decided to take a year and live off the land. Her family took a pledge to eat locally and that included growing a lot of their own food. It’s a great format that includes her diary of the challenges she faced, interesting essays by her husband filled with research, and delightful recipes she and her daughter developed.
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
I am a big fan of Malcom Gladwell. This book explores the idea of what makes people the best of the best. He breaks down the differences between the exceptional and the good through research and analysis. I could not put it down. A couple of findings stuck with me: The 10,000 hour rule. He found that what separated the exceptional from the good was 10,000 hours of practice. If someone practices a skill/talent for 10,000 hours over the course of their life, they will become exceptional. He also had a very interesting finding about elite athletes and their birthdays, but I’ll let you discover that one in the book.
A Year of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs
In this book, AJ Jacobs takes on the challenge of living by the rules of the Bible – every single rule. It’s entertaining and enlightening as he grows a beard, follows the fabric rules, and learns he cannot touch women or men because he can never know if they are clean. I found this incredibly useful for all those discussions about “what the Bible says”.
Official Book Club Selection by Kathy Griffin
I have really come to like Kathy Griffin over the years of watching her on the D List. I was pleasantly surprised by her autobiography. I thought it would be a joke book – basically her act on paper. While it does include some laugh out loud moments, the book is an insightful retelling of her ongoing struggle to break into the industry, the hard work it took to get her where she is and the challenges she faced in her family and her failed marriage. Don’t miss the book group discussion guide at the end – HILARIOUS!
What were your favorite books of 2009? (Mommies - it's okay if it's a children's book!)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The Great Experiment - I have a corneal ulcer
Welcome to the Girl Who readers! The following post is entered into “The Great Experiment” (logo at the left) – a contest on www.thegirlwho.net. If this blog post is your favorite, you go back to www.thegirlwho.net and post a comment with the name of this blog (Ask Angie) and that’s your vote. Welcome and I hope you like it!
That’s right ladies and gents - I have a corneal ulcer. Yesterday, my eyes were super itchy and sensitive to light. They stung so much I would tear up randomly without a Hallmark commercial or 90s power ballad in sight. I just figured I had had my contacts in too long and it would go away when I took them out. The pain was worse this morning so I called through a few ophthalmologists in my insurance directory and found one that would take me at 10:30 am. Score!
I walk in and it is a cataract clinic - everyone in the waiting room is over 80 and with another person who is their primary caregiver. The waiting had a full supply of magazines – probably because none were in large print! So everyone just sat there starring at each other. Wait - I mean staring at me. I was young and one eye was bloodshot and one eye was not.
When I finally got into the back, the tech took advantage of my vulnerable state to begin a lengthy lecture on basic eye hygiene. I could see the glee filling her eyes as she expertly told me everything I had done wrong and then warned me about the “lecture” that was to come. Guess she didn’t realize she was already winning lecture bingo. Then the doctor came in.
Because of its pure comedic value I am going to go through the conversation with the doctor - who by the way looks like Santa Claus – white beard, mustache, spectacles and all. He walks in and we discuss my inappropriate contact use. I get a little lecture and then he rolls up the machine. He takes a look inside my eye and starts to chuckle - yes - bowl full of jello chuckle.
Me: That doesn’t sound good.
Dr. Santa (DS): chuckle chuckle
Me: Ummm..
DS: You have a corneal ulcer. Yep there it is. I can’t believe you don’t also have ulriticitis. Oh - maybe herpes.
ME: WHAT!!!! How the hell did I get herpes in my eye?? I haven’t even had enough action to get it the proper way!
DS: Nope - don’t think it’s herpes. Let me take a look at your right eye too.
Moves machine
DS Gasps
ME: What?
DS: You have a dirty contact in your right eye. Shakes head
Me: I thought I took that out
DS: Did……
DS: Can I ask you a personal question?
ME: We’ve already discussed herpes, why not?
DS: Did you go to bed drunk last night?
Me: No - just tired.
DS: I’ve never seen this before
more head shaking - At this point I was concerned he was going to injure his neck with all this shaking.
Me: Well, I was really tired and I couldn’t see out of my left eye remember because it was hurt and swollen so I thought I had taken it out.
Lil’ tech: That explains why your vision was blurry
DS: You were wearing your glasses on top of this?!?
Me: Yes, I thought I took it out. (evil death stare to Lil' tech)
Head is still shaking. He's really beginning to look more like a bobble head Santa than a regular, run-of-the-mill mall Santa.
Me: I was really tired and my eye was swollen. I am usually the perfect patient I swear! I take all ten days of medicine even if I feel better sooner. Grr! I can’t believe this. I promise I’ve always been the good patient. Dentists love me! I can get you letters – lots of letters about how I am the perfect patient.
DS: I have never seen this - I saw a guy once that had two contacts in, but he was an idiot. (yes, he said idiot.. out loud) How long have you been wearing contacts?
Me: 13 years
Look of disbelief - probably because at this point I am pouting a little
DS: Alright well, I am going to give you some antibiotic drops and some artificial tears. Keep the eye lubricated. You can put your glasses on.
I put my glasses on
DS: You have nice glasses - why in the world do you wear contacts?
Me: So I can wear even cooler sunglasses
DS head begins to shake again. I thought we had ended this part of the program.
Me: and go swimming, kayaking.
DS: Well, if you had lasik you could do all that.
Me: I am scared of the side effects of lasik
DS: You sleep in you contacts so much that you have an ulcer which carries a much higher risk of going blind. You might want to think about that.
Me: Ouch
DS: well
Me: I’ll never sleep in my contacts again.
DS: Alright I need to see you back here Monday
Me: How’s Tuesday? I am busy Monday.
He starts to leave still shaking his head.
Me: Hey! When you retell this story later - will you tell people I was drunk like it was my birthday or something and I got hammered?
That’s right ladies and gents - I have a corneal ulcer. Yesterday, my eyes were super itchy and sensitive to light. They stung so much I would tear up randomly without a Hallmark commercial or 90s power ballad in sight. I just figured I had had my contacts in too long and it would go away when I took them out. The pain was worse this morning so I called through a few ophthalmologists in my insurance directory and found one that would take me at 10:30 am. Score!
I walk in and it is a cataract clinic - everyone in the waiting room is over 80 and with another person who is their primary caregiver. The waiting had a full supply of magazines – probably because none were in large print! So everyone just sat there starring at each other. Wait - I mean staring at me. I was young and one eye was bloodshot and one eye was not.
When I finally got into the back, the tech took advantage of my vulnerable state to begin a lengthy lecture on basic eye hygiene. I could see the glee filling her eyes as she expertly told me everything I had done wrong and then warned me about the “lecture” that was to come. Guess she didn’t realize she was already winning lecture bingo. Then the doctor came in.
Because of its pure comedic value I am going to go through the conversation with the doctor - who by the way looks like Santa Claus – white beard, mustache, spectacles and all. He walks in and we discuss my inappropriate contact use. I get a little lecture and then he rolls up the machine. He takes a look inside my eye and starts to chuckle - yes - bowl full of jello chuckle.
Me: That doesn’t sound good.
Dr. Santa (DS): chuckle chuckle
Me: Ummm..
DS: You have a corneal ulcer. Yep there it is. I can’t believe you don’t also have ulriticitis. Oh - maybe herpes.
ME: WHAT!!!! How the hell did I get herpes in my eye?? I haven’t even had enough action to get it the proper way!
DS: Nope - don’t think it’s herpes. Let me take a look at your right eye too.
Moves machine
DS Gasps
ME: What?
DS: You have a dirty contact in your right eye. Shakes head
Me: I thought I took that out
DS: Did……
DS: Can I ask you a personal question?
ME: We’ve already discussed herpes, why not?
DS: Did you go to bed drunk last night?
Me: No - just tired.
DS: I’ve never seen this before
more head shaking - At this point I was concerned he was going to injure his neck with all this shaking.
Me: Well, I was really tired and I couldn’t see out of my left eye remember because it was hurt and swollen so I thought I had taken it out.
Lil’ tech: That explains why your vision was blurry
DS: You were wearing your glasses on top of this?!?
Me: Yes, I thought I took it out. (evil death stare to Lil' tech)
Head is still shaking. He's really beginning to look more like a bobble head Santa than a regular, run-of-the-mill mall Santa.
Me: I was really tired and my eye was swollen. I am usually the perfect patient I swear! I take all ten days of medicine even if I feel better sooner. Grr! I can’t believe this. I promise I’ve always been the good patient. Dentists love me! I can get you letters – lots of letters about how I am the perfect patient.
DS: I have never seen this - I saw a guy once that had two contacts in, but he was an idiot. (yes, he said idiot.. out loud) How long have you been wearing contacts?
Me: 13 years
Look of disbelief - probably because at this point I am pouting a little
DS: Alright well, I am going to give you some antibiotic drops and some artificial tears. Keep the eye lubricated. You can put your glasses on.
I put my glasses on
DS: You have nice glasses - why in the world do you wear contacts?
Me: So I can wear even cooler sunglasses
DS head begins to shake again. I thought we had ended this part of the program.
Me: and go swimming, kayaking.
DS: Well, if you had lasik you could do all that.
Me: I am scared of the side effects of lasik
DS: You sleep in you contacts so much that you have an ulcer which carries a much higher risk of going blind. You might want to think about that.
Me: Ouch
DS: well
Me: I’ll never sleep in my contacts again.
DS: Alright I need to see you back here Monday
Me: How’s Tuesday? I am busy Monday.
He starts to leave still shaking his head.
Me: Hey! When you retell this story later - will you tell people I was drunk like it was my birthday or something and I got hammered?
Monday, December 14, 2009
Home Again
It’s Thanksgiving time again and here I am — back at my parents’ place in Indianapolis. It’s never quite felt like home — not in the way the house in South Bend did. The home I lived in from the time I was 2 until I nearly graduated from grad school. That home had marks on the wall from my impersonations of Mary Lou Retton. The basement carpet had grooves from hours on roller skates pretending I was Dorothy Hamill or the later years - Tonya Harding. (Nancy looked too much like a horse.) The basketball hoop over the garage where every summer I would play outside late in the evening because I was lucky enough to have a street lamp at the end of my driveway. The cold bathroom tile where I broke up a chin when I was 2 and 1/2– my earliest memory - pain then bright lights and then a McDonald’s milkshake — that experience has repeated itself time and time again. The backyard where I played with all my imaginary friends and later mowed a bullseye as a protest to having to mow the yard at all. The spot on the front porch where I stood when my dad told me my great grandmother had passed away. The spot on the edge of my bed where I first saw my dad cry. The top of the stairs where - when following my mom down my sophomore year of high school - i realized she was wasting away to a disease at that time we couldn’t name. The kitchen where once we named the disease - allergy to gluten - she began to eat again without fear. The garage where we ate taco bell dinners for weeks as our kitchen was re-done. My bedroom where I forced my sister to pay to get entry – a sin that I paid for over and over again at South Beach clubs where even a handful of cash wouldn’t get me behind those velvet ropes. The bedroom where I cried the exactly same amount of tears as every teenage girl everywhere, but thought I was all alone. It’s amazing how a place can mean so much. It’s really the family that is most important, but at the same time, physical remainders of where we’ve been, how we’ve loved and been loved, and how much we’ve grown share such an incredible attachment that when you lose them — it’s like you’ve lost a good friend.
Tips for Spin Class
For the students:
1. Don’t drink 3 large glasses of pinot grigio the night before a 7:00 am spin class. It’s not pretty.
2. Don’t spin in the front row as if you can make your own spin porn video in the mirror. I don’t want to see your fake boobs, pouty lips, and your perfect ass moving up and down – when the rest of us are seated.
3. Don’t do your own routine because this class is too easy. If you are so tough – come on your own and leave the rest of us heaving, sweating, thinking we are going to die lard asses alone. We are not impressed. In fact, we hate you.
4. Don’t talk! This isn’t tea time.
5. Don’t come in late and take the bike next or in front of me. You are late – you can stare at my ass for the next hour. I chose this bike because I wanted some “space” from my classmates.
For the instructor:
1. Do not use songs that have fake endings. You know the ones that seem to be nearing the finish but end up going on and on and on. It makes me want to shoot you.
2. Don’t only pay attention to the fake boobies. Real boobs need love too.
3. Don’t ever play Celine Dion again.
4. Always start on time – except when I am running late.
1. Don’t drink 3 large glasses of pinot grigio the night before a 7:00 am spin class. It’s not pretty.
2. Don’t spin in the front row as if you can make your own spin porn video in the mirror. I don’t want to see your fake boobs, pouty lips, and your perfect ass moving up and down – when the rest of us are seated.
3. Don’t do your own routine because this class is too easy. If you are so tough – come on your own and leave the rest of us heaving, sweating, thinking we are going to die lard asses alone. We are not impressed. In fact, we hate you.
4. Don’t talk! This isn’t tea time.
5. Don’t come in late and take the bike next or in front of me. You are late – you can stare at my ass for the next hour. I chose this bike because I wanted some “space” from my classmates.
For the instructor:
1. Do not use songs that have fake endings. You know the ones that seem to be nearing the finish but end up going on and on and on. It makes me want to shoot you.
2. Don’t only pay attention to the fake boobies. Real boobs need love too.
3. Don’t ever play Celine Dion again.
4. Always start on time – except when I am running late.
Too Many White Russians - The Drink
Going on vacation with my parents is a blast. Going to Vegas with parents can lead to some pretty interesting situations. Here are some facts that are key to the following story:
If you sit at a bar in Vegas and play video poker, the bartender will keep bringing you drinks – even if you don’t order them. This causes you to lose track of exactly how many you have consumed.
Drinking while sitting for extended periods of time masks the level of intoxication – until you stand up.
White Russians taste like a yummy chocolate treat – however they do have booze in them and this booze will make you drunk.
So I was sitting at the bar playing video poker with my friend Tom. Actually it was video blackjack, but video poker makes me sound much cooler. We’d been playing for a few hours when my sister called and told me the family was meeting at 6:45 pm for dinner. It was about 5:30 pm. So at about 6:30 pm, Tom had to leave so we got up and I walked him out. When I saw “walked him out” – I mean stumbled erratically giggling because I downed too many white Russians – the drink.
I ran upstairs changed clothes and then headed back down to meet my parents and my sister. I walked right by my sister. I mean right by – no more than 2 feet away. She said, “ANGIE!” And I turned and said, “hi!” and then kept walking toward the restaurant. My sister moaned, oh no! behind me. Sitting at dinner it was quickly apparent I had had too many white Russians because I answered to everything single thing the waiter said:
Waiter: “good evening folks”
Me: good evening
W: how are you tonight?
M: Great
W: Wanna hear the specials?
M: Yes!
W: Blah blah blah chicken
M: That sounds good.
W: Blah blah blah pasta
M: Yummy! (As I look around the table grinning)
W: Can I get you started with something to drink?
Me: Yes please!
Dad: This wine and a water for her.
Dinner continued on swimmingly. And then a cellphone began to ring. My dad reached for his and I said “Sir, no cell phones please” in my normal speaking voice. However, my normal speaking voice has only one volume: loud and booming. Turns out it wasn’t my dad’s cell phone ringing - but rather the guy seated by himself at a table directly behind my father. So it appeared I was talking to him. I was mortified! I turned bright red. I tried to hide under the table. I apologized profusely in my circus-freaky loud voice. My sister sat in shock shaking her head. My brother-in-law took advantage of the opportunity to make fun of me over and over again. And my dad reiterated the common refrain “We can’t take you anywhere.” On the upside – I haven’t seen my mom laugh that hard in a really long time.
Follow up: Two nights later we were at the roulette table and a cocktail waitress came by. “One white Russian, please” My entire family yelled NO!!!!! They startled the poor cocktail waitress and dealer. We all laughed. Then my dad said, “Seriously, only bring her one.”
If you sit at a bar in Vegas and play video poker, the bartender will keep bringing you drinks – even if you don’t order them. This causes you to lose track of exactly how many you have consumed.
Drinking while sitting for extended periods of time masks the level of intoxication – until you stand up.
White Russians taste like a yummy chocolate treat – however they do have booze in them and this booze will make you drunk.
So I was sitting at the bar playing video poker with my friend Tom. Actually it was video blackjack, but video poker makes me sound much cooler. We’d been playing for a few hours when my sister called and told me the family was meeting at 6:45 pm for dinner. It was about 5:30 pm. So at about 6:30 pm, Tom had to leave so we got up and I walked him out. When I saw “walked him out” – I mean stumbled erratically giggling because I downed too many white Russians – the drink.
I ran upstairs changed clothes and then headed back down to meet my parents and my sister. I walked right by my sister. I mean right by – no more than 2 feet away. She said, “ANGIE!” And I turned and said, “hi!” and then kept walking toward the restaurant. My sister moaned, oh no! behind me. Sitting at dinner it was quickly apparent I had had too many white Russians because I answered to everything single thing the waiter said:
Waiter: “good evening folks”
Me: good evening
W: how are you tonight?
M: Great
W: Wanna hear the specials?
M: Yes!
W: Blah blah blah chicken
M: That sounds good.
W: Blah blah blah pasta
M: Yummy! (As I look around the table grinning)
W: Can I get you started with something to drink?
Me: Yes please!
Dad: This wine and a water for her.
Dinner continued on swimmingly. And then a cellphone began to ring. My dad reached for his and I said “Sir, no cell phones please” in my normal speaking voice. However, my normal speaking voice has only one volume: loud and booming. Turns out it wasn’t my dad’s cell phone ringing - but rather the guy seated by himself at a table directly behind my father. So it appeared I was talking to him. I was mortified! I turned bright red. I tried to hide under the table. I apologized profusely in my circus-freaky loud voice. My sister sat in shock shaking her head. My brother-in-law took advantage of the opportunity to make fun of me over and over again. And my dad reiterated the common refrain “We can’t take you anywhere.” On the upside – I haven’t seen my mom laugh that hard in a really long time.
Follow up: Two nights later we were at the roulette table and a cocktail waitress came by. “One white Russian, please” My entire family yelled NO!!!!! They startled the poor cocktail waitress and dealer. We all laughed. Then my dad said, “Seriously, only bring her one.”
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Innocent or Inapproriate?
Another Dear Abby got me thinking:
DEAR ABBY: I need an unbiased opinion. I am the father of a 12-year-old daughter, "Lia." She catches an early morning bus for school, and I leave for work at the same time her bus picks her up, so I'm in charge of getting her ready in the morning. Although we have two bathrooms -- one upstairs and one down -- neither of us wants to use the downstairs bathroom to get ready. All our stuff is upstairs. When I wake Lia up each morning, she heads into the shower and I go feed the dog. I then go into the bathroom and shave while she's in the shower. While I'm shaving we discuss sports and life in general. When I'm finished, I leave until she's done showering and goes back into her room. I then take my shower. Is this wrong? Lia's mother thinks it's inappropriate for me to be in the bathroom at all while she's taking a shower. I think it is efficient because neither of us is willing to use the other bathroom, and I find it's a good time to find out what's going on in her life. Who's right? -- RIGHT OR WRONG IN WISCONSIN
Stop – Think about your answer. Now, here’s what Abby responded:
DEAR RIGHT OR WRONG: Your wife is correct. It's not a matter of "right or wrong." It's a matter of what is appropriate. At 12, your daughter is becoming a young woman. Either you or Lia needs to start using the downstairs bathroom. If you can't agree on who that will be, then draw straws. You can bond with her over breakfast.
This really got me upset. I feel like Abby was shaming the father when really he was doing nothing wrong. I assumed that there was an opaque shower curtain and the daughter didn’t mind. What’s the big deal? It’s an innocent time for the father and daughter to hang out. Her privacy is protected and it’s a good, efficient use of space and time. Studies show that men communicated better side by side versus face to face so it’s a win for father/daughter communication and for timely getting ready in the morning.
What’s your thought – Daddy trying to hang on to his little girl inappropriately or good, efficient use of time and space? Also what do you think is motivating the mother to intervene?
DEAR ABBY: I need an unbiased opinion. I am the father of a 12-year-old daughter, "Lia." She catches an early morning bus for school, and I leave for work at the same time her bus picks her up, so I'm in charge of getting her ready in the morning. Although we have two bathrooms -- one upstairs and one down -- neither of us wants to use the downstairs bathroom to get ready. All our stuff is upstairs. When I wake Lia up each morning, she heads into the shower and I go feed the dog. I then go into the bathroom and shave while she's in the shower. While I'm shaving we discuss sports and life in general. When I'm finished, I leave until she's done showering and goes back into her room. I then take my shower. Is this wrong? Lia's mother thinks it's inappropriate for me to be in the bathroom at all while she's taking a shower. I think it is efficient because neither of us is willing to use the other bathroom, and I find it's a good time to find out what's going on in her life. Who's right? -- RIGHT OR WRONG IN WISCONSIN
Stop – Think about your answer. Now, here’s what Abby responded:
DEAR RIGHT OR WRONG: Your wife is correct. It's not a matter of "right or wrong." It's a matter of what is appropriate. At 12, your daughter is becoming a young woman. Either you or Lia needs to start using the downstairs bathroom. If you can't agree on who that will be, then draw straws. You can bond with her over breakfast.
This really got me upset. I feel like Abby was shaming the father when really he was doing nothing wrong. I assumed that there was an opaque shower curtain and the daughter didn’t mind. What’s the big deal? It’s an innocent time for the father and daughter to hang out. Her privacy is protected and it’s a good, efficient use of space and time. Studies show that men communicated better side by side versus face to face so it’s a win for father/daughter communication and for timely getting ready in the morning.
What’s your thought – Daddy trying to hang on to his little girl inappropriately or good, efficient use of time and space? Also what do you think is motivating the mother to intervene?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Dear Abby may have got it wrong
Recently, a Dear Abby column had me steaming. A reader wrote in that her best friend “Heather” wanted another child, but her husband did not. The two of them had been arguing about this. Heather had said she was going to stop using birth control without telling her husband. The friend wanted to know what her responsibilities were now that she has this information.
PAUSE – Think of how you would answer this question while humming Jeopardy music.
Okay – we’re back. Got your answer? Well, here’s Dear Abby’s answer: Tell Heather what she is doing is a bad, bad, bad idea, but if that doesn’t work – tell the husband.
Tell the husband? Wha-Wha-What? Really? Interfering in someone else’s marriage is the way to go here? Creating a triangle of distrust? Yep, that sounds like a great idea!
1. Who knows if Heather was serious? We all say things in the confidence of best friends that we may mean at the time, but don’t actually follow through on. “If that happens one more time, I am quitting my job.” “I am sending my children to a work camp in Siberia.” You know things like that.
2. It’s none-yer-business! The friend’s job is to BE A FRIEND! We have all done things our friends have disapproved of. Some friends has been successful at talking us out of it, some have not. Either way, disrupting a marriage is not the way to go.
I have tried to see this from the husband’s perspective. Would I want to know? Would I be angry if I later found out the friend knew and didn’t tell me? I really don’t think I would want to know. The only thing I can see happening out of this is that the friend tells the husband. Heather denies it. The friendship is over and the fighting in the marriage just gets worse.
Now, the friend should consider if she wants to be friends with someone who would engage in this type of behavior, but that’s a different post.
What do you think? Should the friend tell the husband? If you were the husband, would you want to know? Have you ever been in a situation where a friend confided uncomfortable news? What did you do?
PAUSE – Think of how you would answer this question while humming Jeopardy music.
Okay – we’re back. Got your answer? Well, here’s Dear Abby’s answer: Tell Heather what she is doing is a bad, bad, bad idea, but if that doesn’t work – tell the husband.
Tell the husband? Wha-Wha-What? Really? Interfering in someone else’s marriage is the way to go here? Creating a triangle of distrust? Yep, that sounds like a great idea!
1. Who knows if Heather was serious? We all say things in the confidence of best friends that we may mean at the time, but don’t actually follow through on. “If that happens one more time, I am quitting my job.” “I am sending my children to a work camp in Siberia.” You know things like that.
2. It’s none-yer-business! The friend’s job is to BE A FRIEND! We have all done things our friends have disapproved of. Some friends has been successful at talking us out of it, some have not. Either way, disrupting a marriage is not the way to go.
I have tried to see this from the husband’s perspective. Would I want to know? Would I be angry if I later found out the friend knew and didn’t tell me? I really don’t think I would want to know. The only thing I can see happening out of this is that the friend tells the husband. Heather denies it. The friendship is over and the fighting in the marriage just gets worse.
Now, the friend should consider if she wants to be friends with someone who would engage in this type of behavior, but that’s a different post.
What do you think? Should the friend tell the husband? If you were the husband, would you want to know? Have you ever been in a situation where a friend confided uncomfortable news? What did you do?
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