1. Because he/she can – Seriously, think back to the last time you waited at the office. Did you cause a stir? Did you complain? And I mean complain to the doctor, not the poor receptionist so frazzled she can’t even remember her own name. Did you say anything? Now, think, if the cable guy was that far outside the “window” – would you have called the cable company in a huff? I bet you would have.
Doctors keep us waiting because we let them. We don’t make “timeliness” a condition of our devotion. In fact, many of us don’t have any conditions for which doctor we see other than 1. Does he/she take my insurance? and sometimes 2. Do I “like” him/her? We don’t take advantage of online tools that compare doctors of hospitals based on performance or numbers of procedures. We go to people our insurance covers and we “like”. We are more picky about choosing a car than a doctor. Yet, we complain when doctors don’t meet our expectations. Before choosing your last doctor, did you ask how often do you run on schedule? How do you communicate with the patients? E-mails? Phones? Do you call with test results even if there is nothing wrong? What are the chances I can get a same-day appointment if I am really sick? Well, if you didn’t ask, you may think twice about complaining about your doctor running two hours late after you waited 3 weeks for the appointment just to find out your test results.
But it’s not all the doctor’s fault. There is a systemic problem to blame as well:
2. Because she/he has to – The cost of a medical education in this country is insane. Yes, clinically insane. In order to clear themselves out of debt, doctors have to see patients. Reimbursement rates are by patient, not per hour, so the incentive is for doctors to see as many patients as they can in the shortest amount of time that they can. That standard has moved from 2 patients/ hour to 4 patients/ hour to one doctor that I had to break up with that scheduled people every 10 minutes. Now, it’s no wonder they are always running late. Imagine what happens if a patient has an actual condition that requires explanations of treatments and side effects and a weighing of options. Now, the doctor has spent 2 time slots on one patient and pushed off the whole day. Some doctors manage this better than others. They work with their staff and rely on their nurses for the bulk of the exam so the 15 minutes with the doctor are efficiently used.
Here’s a good example: A few months ago, I went to the doctor with several issues I wanted to discuss. None of them were serious, but I still had some concerns and questions. The doctor informed me that we could only discuss one or two issues and that I would have to schedule another appointment to go over the rest – in one to two issue increments. So it would take me at least 3 appointments over probably 5-6 weeks to figure out if the 5 issues were related. In the meantime, I would have started treatment on each issue as if it was an isolated problem. This does not make sense. I quickly switched to the University Faculty Group of the local Medical School where the Medical Student was more than happy to hear all my issues and try to piece them all together and present a diagnosis to the doctor. Then the doctor was more than happy to explain why the Med Student was not quite right and come up with a plan that addressed all the 5 issues. Time with Medical Student: 45 minutes. Time with the physician: 12 minutes. Time in the Waiting Room: Zero. Now we are talking! This was partially possible because the physician’s salary was supplemented by being part of the faculty and she had access to medical students.
In my opinion, solutions to the doctor waiting problem go from:
Schedule the first appointment of the morning and bring a list of issues you want to discuss TO
Nationalize physician education so that doctors don’t leave school with so much debt and reform the reimbursement system to value diagnosis/treatment/outcome over volume.
Just depends how much effort you want to put in.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
What should be done with health care reform? Does there need to be a public option?
Yes, there needs to be a national health plan that every man, woman, and child can receive, regardless of previous condition, that pays for 100% of their care as long as the care complies with best industry practice. Now, put turn down the Glenn Beck show and hear me out people. Our country is suffering because we do not have an adequate health care system. I took developing country economics in grad school. The experts agreed that in order to have a productive society, the workforce must be healthy and educated and there must be an infrastructure to support the means of production and export. THAT IS FOR DEVELOPING COUNTRIES! We are going backward.
You know that massive credit crisis we face? Could that at all be related to the fact that 41% of Americans under the age of 65 have medical debt? Imagine if that all just went away. Imagine if small businesses could retain employees. Imagine if people didn’t have to stay at jobs they hated because their kid has diabetes. Imagine if people could get adequate preventative care and therefore eliminate costly medical interventions down the road and be healthy. I don’t want to imagine that. I want to live it. I want to have a backup plan. A place where I can go – no matter what – and get health care and not have to mortgaged my house to pay for it.
Let me break down that first sentence so people know exactly what I am talking about:
There needs to be:
A national health plan – Note I said health plan – not government administered hospitals and clinics. My Congressman can’t figure out that cutting Veterans’ benefits and voting for the war are contradictory. We can’t leave it up to him. We need a smart person that knows something about medicine, and people and curing people with medicine and running hospitals and clinics and nursing homes. That’s what we need.
that every man, woman, and child can receive, regardless of previous condition – Now I am talking crazy. I can just hear your thoughts now: “We should give health care to people who we know are sick. WHAT???? That’s insane. We could actually make them better, then there would be more people in line at the Wal-mart. That would be bad. Patients with previous conditions should be forced to move to Montana and die alone.” However, I like people with previous conditions and I think they need medicine and I hate Wal-mart so the line can be filled with people with previous conditions 24/7.
that pays for 100% of their care as long as the care complies with best practice –What the heck does best practice have to do with this? Well, there are people out there – bad people. They like to give patients, especially elderly patients, lots and lots of tests and procedures they really don’t need because it makes more money for them. They appear to all live in Florida – South Florida to be exact. Using best practice will be a good check on the medical delivery system that ensures patients are getting what is best for them while the taxpayers are getting a good value on their tax dollars.
Aren’t I concerned about “government” making health care decisions for me? Well, they kinda already do. What Medicare decides to reimburse and not reimburse basically sets what the care plan is going to be for a particular disease or treatment – even for private insurers. And this is because we have a health care system where doctors and other health care professionals have to adapt their care plan to what will be covered – not what is best for the patient.
Am I concerned about socialism? Not really. A public option can be funded through tax money and still be run by the private sector. I would prefer it be run as a non-profit because I don’t think health care is the place to be skimming profits. Plus I kinda like some aspects of socialism like roads, the post office, public education, parks, sewers, police, fire protection, and all those other pesky things that taxes pay for that EVERYONE gets to access.
What I am concerned about is that this generation will likely have a worse future than their parents. What I am concerned about is that our 2004 infant mortality rate places us 29th in the world. There are 28 other countries where babies have a better chance to live. What I am concerned about is that we pay more money for health care than any other country and still 41% carry medical debt. What I am concerned about is the conversations I have with nurses and doctors about the state of our country’s hospitals.
We need health care reform and we need it now. I am disappointed and disgusted by the cowardice of the Democrats in the House and Senate and White House that refuse to step up and use the Super Majority to save this country. I am disheartened by the Medicare beneficiaries that are out raising their voices against “government health care” – even though their very lives depend on it - because talk show host told them to yell louder. I ache for the small business owners who every day have to close the doors on their dreams because they just can’t afford not to have health insurance anymore. What will it take to get what we need?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what we need to do to fix this health care crisis.
You know that massive credit crisis we face? Could that at all be related to the fact that 41% of Americans under the age of 65 have medical debt? Imagine if that all just went away. Imagine if small businesses could retain employees. Imagine if people didn’t have to stay at jobs they hated because their kid has diabetes. Imagine if people could get adequate preventative care and therefore eliminate costly medical interventions down the road and be healthy. I don’t want to imagine that. I want to live it. I want to have a backup plan. A place where I can go – no matter what – and get health care and not have to mortgaged my house to pay for it.
Let me break down that first sentence so people know exactly what I am talking about:
There needs to be:
A national health plan – Note I said health plan – not government administered hospitals and clinics. My Congressman can’t figure out that cutting Veterans’ benefits and voting for the war are contradictory. We can’t leave it up to him. We need a smart person that knows something about medicine, and people and curing people with medicine and running hospitals and clinics and nursing homes. That’s what we need.
that every man, woman, and child can receive, regardless of previous condition – Now I am talking crazy. I can just hear your thoughts now: “We should give health care to people who we know are sick. WHAT???? That’s insane. We could actually make them better, then there would be more people in line at the Wal-mart. That would be bad. Patients with previous conditions should be forced to move to Montana and die alone.” However, I like people with previous conditions and I think they need medicine and I hate Wal-mart so the line can be filled with people with previous conditions 24/7.
that pays for 100% of their care as long as the care complies with best practice –What the heck does best practice have to do with this? Well, there are people out there – bad people. They like to give patients, especially elderly patients, lots and lots of tests and procedures they really don’t need because it makes more money for them. They appear to all live in Florida – South Florida to be exact. Using best practice will be a good check on the medical delivery system that ensures patients are getting what is best for them while the taxpayers are getting a good value on their tax dollars.
Aren’t I concerned about “government” making health care decisions for me? Well, they kinda already do. What Medicare decides to reimburse and not reimburse basically sets what the care plan is going to be for a particular disease or treatment – even for private insurers. And this is because we have a health care system where doctors and other health care professionals have to adapt their care plan to what will be covered – not what is best for the patient.
Am I concerned about socialism? Not really. A public option can be funded through tax money and still be run by the private sector. I would prefer it be run as a non-profit because I don’t think health care is the place to be skimming profits. Plus I kinda like some aspects of socialism like roads, the post office, public education, parks, sewers, police, fire protection, and all those other pesky things that taxes pay for that EVERYONE gets to access.
What I am concerned about is that this generation will likely have a worse future than their parents. What I am concerned about is that our 2004 infant mortality rate places us 29th in the world. There are 28 other countries where babies have a better chance to live. What I am concerned about is that we pay more money for health care than any other country and still 41% carry medical debt. What I am concerned about is the conversations I have with nurses and doctors about the state of our country’s hospitals.
We need health care reform and we need it now. I am disappointed and disgusted by the cowardice of the Democrats in the House and Senate and White House that refuse to step up and use the Super Majority to save this country. I am disheartened by the Medicare beneficiaries that are out raising their voices against “government health care” – even though their very lives depend on it - because talk show host told them to yell louder. I ache for the small business owners who every day have to close the doors on their dreams because they just can’t afford not to have health insurance anymore. What will it take to get what we need?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what we need to do to fix this health care crisis.
Friday, October 2, 2009
What do you think of the flu vaccine?
This is actually the question I posed to two of my dearest friends the other night over dinner. After all the hype over the swine flu and the vaccine development in China, I wanted to get others’ opinions. My overall reaction to the flu vaccine has always been the opinion that it is a scam by the pharmaceutical industry to make more money off of people’s fears. Viruses mutate a lot. The idea that a vaccine can be developed and ready by October and have the right strain to fight off a virus that will hit its peak in February befuddles me. I just don’t see how it is possible. Plus we can’t trust China to make safe children’s toys, but now they are the leading experts on vaccines? I find that interesting.
The question of vaccines has become very controversial in recent years. To me, the question boils down to personal risk versus social responsibility. Yes, we each take a personal risk every time we get vaccinated. That risk is somewhat ameliorated by the personal benefit of protection from that disease, but all vaccines have side effects. I can’t imagine living in a country where the mumps, small pox, and polio still ravaged cities and villages so I am more than willing to roll up my sleeve and take the shot. I think vaccinations should be required for attendance in public schools. I think that is a good use of government regulation for overall public health.
But the flu just doesn’t seem that serious to me. I have a healthy immune system, good insurance and sick time at work. I can afford to be sick and allow my own immune system fight off the invaders. I understand others don’t. Plus, we won’t wipe out the flu if everyone gets vaccinated. The virus will still be around. However, if I interacted every day with people with depressed immune systems due age or disease, I would likely get the flu vaccine to protect them. What is a little sniffle to me is likely catastrophic for them. Did you get the flu vaccine? Why or Why not?
The question of vaccines has become very controversial in recent years. To me, the question boils down to personal risk versus social responsibility. Yes, we each take a personal risk every time we get vaccinated. That risk is somewhat ameliorated by the personal benefit of protection from that disease, but all vaccines have side effects. I can’t imagine living in a country where the mumps, small pox, and polio still ravaged cities and villages so I am more than willing to roll up my sleeve and take the shot. I think vaccinations should be required for attendance in public schools. I think that is a good use of government regulation for overall public health.
But the flu just doesn’t seem that serious to me. I have a healthy immune system, good insurance and sick time at work. I can afford to be sick and allow my own immune system fight off the invaders. I understand others don’t. Plus, we won’t wipe out the flu if everyone gets vaccinated. The virus will still be around. However, if I interacted every day with people with depressed immune systems due age or disease, I would likely get the flu vaccine to protect them. What is a little sniffle to me is likely catastrophic for them. Did you get the flu vaccine? Why or Why not?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
LOSE WEIGHT! EAT MORE!
I am always surprised by the sheer volume of articles and TV shows that focus on how to lose weight. How do you lose weight? You eat less and move more. These are very simple solutions, yet there is an entire industry devoted to this question. The real question everyone is asking is how do I lose weight without changing a single thing I am already doing? Or can you somehow inspire me through your witty one liners or soulful insights to eat less/move more?
Now, I speak from experience here. I am overweight. I don’t have a thyroid problem. My genes are just fine. In fact, my only problem is how many times that fork comes to my mouth and my wine glass gets “magically” refilled. And by “magically” I mean pressing the button the box of wine that takes up the whole shelf in the refrigerator. I know how to lose weight. I’ve done it before. I just don’t want to make the sacrifice it takes to make it happen. But I am not pretending that I could lose weight by only eating green foods on Tuesday and red foods on Thursday.
Eat More! Lose Weight! The Grapefruit Diet! Martha’s Vineyard! Those public service announcements that try to convince people to just park farther from the store and they will be fit as a fiddle are a public disservice. How about park a little further from your Big Mac? I think that if people started talking openly and honestly about the challenge and sacrifice losing weight presents, then people won’t feel weak when they find it hard to lose weight. 30 Days to a New You! Only if the new you looks exactly the same as the old you but is tired, crabby and hungry.
Losing weight is not easy. Not matter which “diet” you pick. It’s not a gimmick or a promotional offer. It’s a challenge and a sacrifice that takes a daily commitment to making good choices for your health and your body. Don’t get me wrong, it’s worth it once you get there. More energy, cuter clothes, longer life with your loved ones, more time to get revenge on your not-so-loved ones. But, the more we act like obesity can be cured simply by filling most of your plate with vegetables, doing a few squats during commercial breaks and walking to the end of the block and back, the worse shot we have at curing it.
Now, I speak from experience here. I am overweight. I don’t have a thyroid problem. My genes are just fine. In fact, my only problem is how many times that fork comes to my mouth and my wine glass gets “magically” refilled. And by “magically” I mean pressing the button the box of wine that takes up the whole shelf in the refrigerator. I know how to lose weight. I’ve done it before. I just don’t want to make the sacrifice it takes to make it happen. But I am not pretending that I could lose weight by only eating green foods on Tuesday and red foods on Thursday.
Eat More! Lose Weight! The Grapefruit Diet! Martha’s Vineyard! Those public service announcements that try to convince people to just park farther from the store and they will be fit as a fiddle are a public disservice. How about park a little further from your Big Mac? I think that if people started talking openly and honestly about the challenge and sacrifice losing weight presents, then people won’t feel weak when they find it hard to lose weight. 30 Days to a New You! Only if the new you looks exactly the same as the old you but is tired, crabby and hungry.
Losing weight is not easy. Not matter which “diet” you pick. It’s not a gimmick or a promotional offer. It’s a challenge and a sacrifice that takes a daily commitment to making good choices for your health and your body. Don’t get me wrong, it’s worth it once you get there. More energy, cuter clothes, longer life with your loved ones, more time to get revenge on your not-so-loved ones. But, the more we act like obesity can be cured simply by filling most of your plate with vegetables, doing a few squats during commercial breaks and walking to the end of the block and back, the worse shot we have at curing it.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
What to do about germs?
“Last week I saw on Dr. Oz's new show a pitch (from Dr. Oz) himself for a product called "HygeniClean UV-C Anti-Bacterial Light Wand" which supposedly kills bacteria and is practical to use on cell phones, purses, keyboards, and other hard-to-anti-bac places. My questions are : Would you buy it? Do you think your mother would buy it? Do you think this is the real deal? I am into the notion of being exposed to some germs for overall health-immunity purposes, but would like to avoid the nasty ones (think bottom of your shoes after a night out at a bar - ick!). It is $20 - worth it? How do I know if it works? Is it a truly a gimmick?.”
Ummm, sure, buy it. Seriously, what do I know? I wouldn’t buy it because I am really not that worried about germs, but then again I don’t have any germ factories ( I think some of you people call them children) living with me.
In general, I think, as a society, we are way too worried about “germs”. This overreaction has led to the Darwinian manipulation of casual fun-loving, slight congestion causing germs to morph into Super Darth Vader germs of death and destruction. And that sucks.
Me – I tend to walk on the wide side. I observe the 5 second rule even though Ted Allen said it doesn’t work that way. I’ve been know to eat out of a bowl that I know has been double dipped in even though it makes a petri dish light up like the Fourth of July. I consider it a dry run for my immune system. Give those little white blood cells something to play with.
But back to the product – I do know that UV light does have bacteria killing properties so the idea behind the gadget is sound. Since these little buggers are invisible, you never will really know if it works, but if it makes you feel better go for it. It seems like this flu season is going to be pretty serious. I’m going to stick with frequent hand washing that lasts through at least two renditions of happy birthday and NOT touching my eyes, nose or mouth with my grubby hands.
Ummm, sure, buy it. Seriously, what do I know? I wouldn’t buy it because I am really not that worried about germs, but then again I don’t have any germ factories ( I think some of you people call them children) living with me.
In general, I think, as a society, we are way too worried about “germs”. This overreaction has led to the Darwinian manipulation of casual fun-loving, slight congestion causing germs to morph into Super Darth Vader germs of death and destruction. And that sucks.
Me – I tend to walk on the wide side. I observe the 5 second rule even though Ted Allen said it doesn’t work that way. I’ve been know to eat out of a bowl that I know has been double dipped in even though it makes a petri dish light up like the Fourth of July. I consider it a dry run for my immune system. Give those little white blood cells something to play with.
But back to the product – I do know that UV light does have bacteria killing properties so the idea behind the gadget is sound. Since these little buggers are invisible, you never will really know if it works, but if it makes you feel better go for it. It seems like this flu season is going to be pretty serious. I’m going to stick with frequent hand washing that lasts through at least two renditions of happy birthday and NOT touching my eyes, nose or mouth with my grubby hands.
Friday, September 25, 2009
To advise or not to advice - that's today's question
If you have done something before and someone is preparing for the same experience and you know from your experience they are not preparing in the proper way, what is the best way to intervene?
Now, I must admit I have gone back and forth about how to answer this question. My first instinct was “intervene”, make sure they know that they are in for and how to properly prepare. But then, I got to thinking and those crazy firing neurons led me down me a different road. Let’s go down that road, shall we?
Who’s to say your way is the only way? Now, it may be the best way, but that’s doesn’t mean it is the only competent way.
Let’s say what we are talking about here, hypothetically, is hiking the Appalachian Trail. You’ve hiked the Trail and your friend Suzy is getting ready to take the trek herself. Now, assuming Suzy knows that you have hiked the trail, there is probably a reason that she isn’t asking you for advice. Here are the reasons I can think of that she would not be interested in your advice:
1. She is already on information overload. You weren’t the first person to hike the Appalachian Trail. The magical interweb is brimming with fact sheets, blogs, newsletters and tips on to hike the Appalachian. And there are even real books on the subject. Plus, every person she has likely told that she is embarking on this journey has had some piece of advice. Wear wool socks! Wear wicking socks! Don’t wear underwear! On and on and on until now she has decided to just pick one source and stick with that as her guide for the Trail. I’m sorry that source wasn’t you.
2. She doesn’t want YOUR advice. She remembers all the whining and complaining you did when you hiked it. She’s seen the pictures of that rash you got because you forgot to bring foot powder. She’s decided to stick with the experts on this one.
3. She’s afraid you’ll get mad if she doesn’t take your advice and she really doesn’t want to deal with an “I told you so” if something does go awry. If the words, “Why’d you even ask me if you weren’t going to take my advice?” have every crossed your pouty lips, then you can see why she left you out of her how-to tour.
No matter what the reason, it’s really not something to stress over. As a person that has an opinion about everything, I can understand the frustration of not sharing that opinion, but when it comes to issues where there is a lot of information available, sometimes we just have to let people figure things out for themselves.
If it is just driving you too crazy to live, then you could try one of these covert “I am going to give you advice – like it or not” efforts.
Invite her over to look at pictures and relive your experience. Note I said invite –not ambush by pulling a bait and switch. You can’t invite her over to watch Bones and drink wine and then “get inspired” to spend the next 2 hours talking Trail talk while Bones wastes away on the Tivo. I would stop being your friend if you did that. So don’t do that.
Do some online research to find a source that just so happens to match exactly what you would have said. I call this the “Trojan horse”. You are really giving your advice through the guise of an innocent computer print out. Mission accomplished.
Ultimately, I would recommend check your “I know the answer” hat at the door and enjoy the ride. Your friend is preparing for an amazing life experience. The lessons learned are part of the journey. Be there to support her/him through the bruises those lessons sometimes cause. And you never know, he/she may find a way that is even better than yours. Nahh, you’re right, that’s impossible.
Now, I must admit I have gone back and forth about how to answer this question. My first instinct was “intervene”, make sure they know that they are in for and how to properly prepare. But then, I got to thinking and those crazy firing neurons led me down me a different road. Let’s go down that road, shall we?
Who’s to say your way is the only way? Now, it may be the best way, but that’s doesn’t mean it is the only competent way.
Let’s say what we are talking about here, hypothetically, is hiking the Appalachian Trail. You’ve hiked the Trail and your friend Suzy is getting ready to take the trek herself. Now, assuming Suzy knows that you have hiked the trail, there is probably a reason that she isn’t asking you for advice. Here are the reasons I can think of that she would not be interested in your advice:
1. She is already on information overload. You weren’t the first person to hike the Appalachian Trail. The magical interweb is brimming with fact sheets, blogs, newsletters and tips on to hike the Appalachian. And there are even real books on the subject. Plus, every person she has likely told that she is embarking on this journey has had some piece of advice. Wear wool socks! Wear wicking socks! Don’t wear underwear! On and on and on until now she has decided to just pick one source and stick with that as her guide for the Trail. I’m sorry that source wasn’t you.
2. She doesn’t want YOUR advice. She remembers all the whining and complaining you did when you hiked it. She’s seen the pictures of that rash you got because you forgot to bring foot powder. She’s decided to stick with the experts on this one.
3. She’s afraid you’ll get mad if she doesn’t take your advice and she really doesn’t want to deal with an “I told you so” if something does go awry. If the words, “Why’d you even ask me if you weren’t going to take my advice?” have every crossed your pouty lips, then you can see why she left you out of her how-to tour.
No matter what the reason, it’s really not something to stress over. As a person that has an opinion about everything, I can understand the frustration of not sharing that opinion, but when it comes to issues where there is a lot of information available, sometimes we just have to let people figure things out for themselves.
If it is just driving you too crazy to live, then you could try one of these covert “I am going to give you advice – like it or not” efforts.
Invite her over to look at pictures and relive your experience. Note I said invite –not ambush by pulling a bait and switch. You can’t invite her over to watch Bones and drink wine and then “get inspired” to spend the next 2 hours talking Trail talk while Bones wastes away on the Tivo. I would stop being your friend if you did that. So don’t do that.
Do some online research to find a source that just so happens to match exactly what you would have said. I call this the “Trojan horse”. You are really giving your advice through the guise of an innocent computer print out. Mission accomplished.
Ultimately, I would recommend check your “I know the answer
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
What if their booger is in their nose?
“I am pretty good when it comes to lettuce in the teeth or something on their face, but how do you tell them if they have a booger hanging out or even worse, it’s just inside their nose so that when you talk to them you can see it?”
Yes, this is a real question I got. So now I am going to talk about boogers. And I am going to use the term booger since this is the term my dear reader used. My answer varies based on a very important consideration – do you have a tissue or a napkin?
1. If you have a tissue/napkin – When there is a lull in the conversation or when you are getting up to leave, I would casually get out the tissue and hand it to them. When they look at you quizzically, say “I think some inmates are trying to escape” and point to your nose. This will only work if the person is not elderly, hard of hearing, or dense as a box of very dense rocks. If the person meets any of the three previous conditions, the conversation will go down a long winding, sometimes painful, path that will end with “Why were we talking about prison again?” and the person will still have snot hanging out of their nose. In this case, hand over the tissue and say “Blow your nose Grandma!” or “You might want to blow your nose” if the person is not your Grandma.
2. If you do not have a tissue – Looks like you are not really going to be able to solve this problem – are you? I would just say something like, “Next time you are in the bathroom, you may want to blow your nose – unless you are going to go do a line a Coke – then you’ll just suck all that crap hanging out of your nose right up with those little powdery pieces of euphoria that ruin your life.” You could probably stop before the “unless” if you were pressed for time. ‘
And that ladies and gentlemen is my opinion on how to tell someone they have a booger hanging out of their nose.
Yes, this is a real question I got. So now I am going to talk about boogers. And I am going to use the term booger since this is the term my dear reader used. My answer varies based on a very important consideration – do you have a tissue or a napkin?
1. If you have a tissue/napkin – When there is a lull in the conversation or when you are getting up to leave, I would casually get out the tissue and hand it to them. When they look at you quizzically, say “I think some inmates are trying to escape” and point to your nose. This will only work if the person is not elderly, hard of hearing, or dense as a box of very dense rocks. If the person meets any of the three previous conditions, the conversation will go down a long winding, sometimes painful, path that will end with “Why were we talking about prison again?” and the person will still have snot hanging out of their nose. In this case, hand over the tissue and say “Blow your nose Grandma!” or “You might want to blow your nose” if the person is not your Grandma.
2. If you do not have a tissue – Looks like you are not really going to be able to solve this problem – are you? I would just say something like, “Next time you are in the bathroom, you may want to blow your nose – unless you are going to go do a line a Coke – then you’ll just suck all that crap hanging out of your nose right up with those little powdery pieces of euphoria that ruin your life.” You could probably stop before the “unless” if you were pressed for time. ‘
And that ladies and gentlemen is my opinion on how to tell someone they have a booger hanging out of their nose.
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