OK… What really happened was more like…
Scene: Angie doing water aerobics. I look over and see a snake doing water aerobics. Go back to lunges and then in slow motion, my head slowly turns and realizes – IT REALLY IS A SNAKE. I hightail it out of the pool and stand on the edge pondering what to do next – all the while the promos from Snakes On A Plane are circling in my head. 'What would Samuel L. do?' And 'I hope his fired his agent for letting him do that movie.'
I scream a tiny scream hoping my husband who is inside on a conference call will hear me and coming running. No husband. I head over to the pool closet looking for the skimmer. 'WHERE IS THAT NET? Why is it so hard to find a net? Where in the world would my husband put the net? I can’t get the snake without a net! I run over to the backyard and look for the net. NO NET!!! WHERE IS THE NET??' I contemplate going inside to get my husband, but then I say to myself, 'Angie! You are a woman of the 90s! You can do this!' (Apparently in my head, it is still the 90s and women in the 90s fish foot-long snakes out of pools.)
I head back to the pool closet and find the net. Grrreat! Now I really have to get the snake. I head over to the side of the pool and start fishing. It squirms and then makes a break for the other side of the pool. I should jump in and get it. WHAT!!! Then I would in the pool with the snake. BAD IDEA! I run to the other side. After a few struggles, I get it in the net and it is all floppy and squirmy. Now I really scream and run toward the backdoor and fling it with all my might. It goes 3 feet. But that is far enough.
At this point, my husband comes running out. The combination of running and screaming has triggered an internal “huh…my wife might be in trouble…..” alarm.* I think, ‘Just in time, Lucky!’ I tell him how I got the snake out of the pool. He asks how big it was. I say a foot. He is surprised that is was actually a snake. See, when I originally said SNAKE! He thought worm.**
I made him check the rest of the pool. He declared it “All Clear.” And back into the water I went. Because if you don’t get back on the horse right away – you might never swim in your own pool again.
*Running and screaming independently do not sound the alarm anymore. I am a wee bit of an over reactor.
**See note regarding “over reactor”
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Ask Angie: Why am I the one who always has to call?
This new year I really want to focus on keeping people in my life who support me and getting rid of those who don't. For instance, with one of my "friends" - I am always the one to call her, always the one to set up plans, etc. Whenever I have a problem, she's the person I turn to. However, she never calls me and I hear weeks later from her that she was having a hard time. What should I do?
You have a couple options:
1. Quit keeping score and just enjoy her friendship. I am assuming that you do enjoy the time you spend with her after you have initiated the contact. Sure, there's a little bruise to the ego and some hurt feelings that this girl doesn't want to wear half of your best friend necklace pendant or crimp hair together before the football game, but that doesn't mean you can't have a good relationship. You now understand what she is willing to put into the friendship. She is willing to be there, to listen, to hang out and have a great time - just not to initiate all that. So when you feel like calling her - call her. If you don't, don't. But you have to stop keeping score. Continuing to keep score will only drive you crazy and you'll miss out on the good times you can have with her.
2. Let the friendship fade away - If the fact that she doesn't initiate contact or activities really drives you up a wall to the point you can't even enjoy your time together then you may need to just throw this fish back into the ocean. I don't think this means a long drawn out - you should have been a better friend - conversation. It just means you stop calling. If your analysis is correct then, by definition, the friendship will end because you will no longer be driving the train that was making it happen. And that's okay.
I truly believe we cannot convince people to change - we can only change our reactions to them. Sure, you could have a Dr. Phil conversation with this friend about how you need for her to call more and she may try and do that for a while. But it's likely she'll fall back into her old habits and you will be hurt again. It is what it is. She is who she is. You can enjoy it or let it go, but I am not sure you could change your friend into someone else.
In fact, my guess is that her lack of initiation is the flip side of some qualities that drew you to her in the first place: spontaneity, living in the moment, no drama. It's not fair to want her to continue to be all those things and not take the other stuff with it. No one's perfect and all of my friends overlook some pretty hefty imperfections in favor of my better qualities. So I am lobbying for option 1 - give her a break, patch up your wounded feelings and enjoy the ride. In fact, why don't you give her a call right now?
You have a couple options:
1. Quit keeping score and just enjoy her friendship. I am assuming that you do enjoy the time you spend with her after you have initiated the contact. Sure, there's a little bruise to the ego and some hurt feelings that this girl doesn't want to wear half of your best friend necklace pendant or crimp hair together before the football game, but that doesn't mean you can't have a good relationship. You now understand what she is willing to put into the friendship. She is willing to be there, to listen, to hang out and have a great time - just not to initiate all that. So when you feel like calling her - call her. If you don't, don't. But you have to stop keeping score. Continuing to keep score will only drive you crazy and you'll miss out on the good times you can have with her.
2. Let the friendship fade away - If the fact that she doesn't initiate contact or activities really drives you up a wall to the point you can't even enjoy your time together then you may need to just throw this fish back into the ocean. I don't think this means a long drawn out - you should have been a better friend - conversation. It just means you stop calling. If your analysis is correct then, by definition, the friendship will end because you will no longer be driving the train that was making it happen. And that's okay.
I truly believe we cannot convince people to change - we can only change our reactions to them. Sure, you could have a Dr. Phil conversation with this friend about how you need for her to call more and she may try and do that for a while. But it's likely she'll fall back into her old habits and you will be hurt again. It is what it is. She is who she is. You can enjoy it or let it go, but I am not sure you could change your friend into someone else.
In fact, my guess is that her lack of initiation is the flip side of some qualities that drew you to her in the first place: spontaneity, living in the moment, no drama. It's not fair to want her to continue to be all those things and not take the other stuff with it. No one's perfect and all of my friends overlook some pretty hefty imperfections in favor of my better qualities. So I am lobbying for option 1 - give her a break, patch up your wounded feelings and enjoy the ride. In fact, why don't you give her a call right now?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
What are you doing to try to save money?
This seems to be quite the topic and since I often brag on Facebook about my coupon prowess, a couple of people have asked what other things I do to save money. To me, money savings falls into two categories - really big changes and little changes that add up. Really Big Changes are things like giving up cable for Netflix. Little Changes that Add Up are things like getting McDonald's coffee instead of Starbucks.
Before undertaking any changes, it is important to understand your own deal breakers. For example, I will go without the fancy haircut and dye my own hair for $4, but I will not give up cable. In my experience, when I tried to severely cut across the board, I felt like I was deprived and ended up "rebelling" with a $200 Target shopping spree. Now that I give myself permission to spend on some things, I find I don't want to.
Do you find shopping to be a "fun" activity or a necessary evil? I find shopping to be a fun activity. I love walking around Target or surfing Amazon.com and filling my cart with "great deals" or "just what I didn't know I always needed." The difference now is that I realize that shopping is the activity, but buying doesn't have to be so I just put everything back. Sound crazy? Yes, but I spent $500 less at Target alone since I started doing that.
Really Big Things
Reevaluate your deductibles on your auto insurance - Increasing a deductible by $500 can save you between 5 - 25% depending on what you are paying. Only do this if you actually have an extra $1000 saved somewhere, but the savings in your insurance premium can really add up over time . Also, re-base your insurance to the value of your car. The coverage you needed when the car was brand new may not make sense now that the car is 10 years old.
Evaluate your phone, Internet and cable packages to see if there is a better deal out there or cancel cable all together and just use Netflix for $9/month and/or borrow your friends' DVDs. We would never cancel cable. We don't go out much and this is our entertainment budget. Every few months, my husband is able to negotiate getting a premium movie channel free and then we DVR movies to watch so no need for Netflix or rentals or even going out to the movie theater.
Make sure you can afford your car/house - You don't have to have a car payment. You can actually save enough money to buy a car outright. Used cars have come a long way since the advent of leasing. Now, you can easily find cars that are 1 -2 years old, you know have been maintained, still under warranty, and get an accurate Carfax report on any hidden damage. It's all about trade-offs.
Rent out a room in your house - Now, this isn't for everyone, but I know several childless couples who have rented out rooms in their home for a summer or 6 month period to someone who was looking for an apartment, in between college and grad school or some other transient circumstance.
Evaluate what you actually have - Under my sink, I had 24 bars of soap. I had over 100 DVDs that I hadn't watched in years. Don't even get me started on CDs. This has two benefits: 1. You find things you could sell or trade for other things you really want. 2. You stop buying those excess items. I have enough shampoo and conditioner to last me until 2012. Seriously.
Stop using credit cards - The temptation is just too great. You can use your debit card, but then you actually have to pay attention to make sure you don't overdraw on your account. If you are going to use a credit card, make sure you are getting points or cash back and you pay it off every month. I make a credit card payment every two weeks. This helps keep the spending in check while amassing points.
OK so that's it for really big things. In general, I don't think there are a ton of quick and easy solutions to getting a handle on your money. It basically comes down to spending less or earning more. In this economy, earning more is very difficult so it's about spending less. So here's some little things that really add up.
Little Things that Add Up
Kick the Starbucks habit - Seriously. It's not that good. Make your own at home, work with your office manager to get a blend you can stomach at your office, buy a frother and some flavored syrup ($4 a huge bottle) and make the fancy cappuccino noise while you whirl it yourself, or switch to tea - it's better for you. If this is your deal breaker, then buy a Starbucks card with how much you think you can afford for Starbucks for a week or month. When the gift card is gone - you are done.
Create your own go-to meals - I have found it is helpful to have a couple stand-by meals. Meals that you can quickly put together and always have the ingredients for. Ours are: frozen pizza with roasted red peppers, spinach pesto and whole wheat pasta, chicken with red sauce over couscous, chili salad, ravioli and vegetable fried rice. Since all of the ingredients for these dishes can be stored in the freezer or pantry, we always have them. This really helps for those nights we would probably go out because menu planning was the last thing on anyone's mind. It also means I can shop for the best deal on all these ingredients. I know I am going to need them. In fact, I barely pick a recipe to make.
Shop based on deals, not menus - I take about 90 minutes on Sunday, cut coupons, match my coupons to the ads and then buy what I can get the best deal on that I think I will actually use. I had a real wake up call on how useful this one a few weeks ago when I had picked out a recipe I wanted to try, bought all the ingredients and the bill was $40. The day before I had bought almost a cartful of on sale plus coupons items that cost $40 and those ingredients made 5 -6 meals instead of just one. Theoretically, you could even get the kids involved - matching the coupons to the pictures in the ad. Not having children myself, this seems like one of those piece in the sky ideas people without children come up with and try to sell it to parents. For more insight into this style of shopping - check out grocerygame.com. For online coupons - check out coupon.com; redplum.com;smartsource.com
Learn to make soup - Buy produce when it is in season and cheapest. Cut it up, add some seasonings, an onion, some broth and leave it in the slow cooker. Puree and you have soup. Then freeze and now you have more go-to meals for the rest of the year. Same with tomatoes and pasta sauce. Basil and pesto, etc.
Learn what is a good price for something - For a long time, I had thought we were not getting the best deal at our wholesale club. My husband started a spreadsheet to compare the prices we were paying for things to really understand what is a good price for certain items. Here are some of our findings for the Tampa Bay, Florida area:
Bread - $1.70 a loaf
Butter - $1.70 a pound
Frozen pizza - $3 a pizza
Diced Tomatoes - 75 cents a can
Coffee - 17 cents/ ounce
Tide - 11 cents/ ounce
Now, these aren't the best deals we have ever gotten, but these are a good indicator if we are getting a good deal. Sometimes, the best deal is at Walgreen's, sometimes it is at the wholesale club. Watch the ads.
Make the most of gifts - When people ask what you want for a gift and you know they are going to buy you something, ask for something that can help you say money:
- A Sunday subscription to the newspaper (for coupons and ads)
- A magazine subscription
- A bread machine
- A slow cooker
- An immersion blender (for soups and sauces)
- An ice cream maker (ice cream prices are INSANE!)
It will make a big difference - especially if you actually use them.
Have breakfast for dinner once a week - Breakfast foods are the least expensive. Think eggs, bacon, pancake mix, etc. Having breakfast for dinner once a week is cheap, quick and fun. Same thing goes for vegetarian meal once a week - healthy + cheap.
Cupboard challenge - My husband and I will have a cupboard challenge once every few weeks. It's clear we need to go the store because we are down to the bare bones, but we try to see how creative we can be and how long we can go without going to the store. Yes, that means defrosting that thing way in the back of the freezer and cooking it. It could mean making your own biscuits to serve with that dusty can of soup. Our longest record is 4 days, but at that point we were having breakfast for every meal so we went to the store.
Become friends with your local library - Libraries these days are amazing! Most libraries are totally online. You can make a list of what books, movies, CDs you want and then they call you when they come in and you just go pick them up. Some even have audiobooks you can download for free to your iPod. Really. Check it out. I have read tons of books this year. Sure, you have to wait a while. I am still waiting to get the latest Black Eyed Peas, Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift into my hot little hands. But at a savings of $30 - I can wait. Same with movies - the ones I haven't been able to DVR off free movies channels, I am patiently waiting for. I'll get the new James Patterson in about 6 months. In the meantime, I have lots of other books, movies and CDs to keep me busy. I also use it to preview cookbooks or reference books to see if I really like them and will use them. If yes, then I buy them.
Restaurant Eating - We rarely eat out. Between the go-to meals and the sagging shelf of cookbooks, there's really no need. However, I understand, this is not the way of the world for other families. Look for coupons. On restaurant.com, you can get $25 gift certificates for as little at $4. Just subscribe to couponmom.com and she sends out the code to get 80%. Now, these certificates usually have a minimum purchase so they are best used on 4 or more people or to get an appetizer and then bring home leftovers for lunch the next day. Also, research frequent visitor clubs for restaurants you like to frequent. TGI Friday's has a pretty good club. You get coupons like buy one, get one or free appetizer, or $10 off. If you are going to go out, might as well get something for it. The Sunday paper may also have coupons for restaurants. Nicer restaurants may also have price-fixed menus on a slow night during the week. It's worth a phone call.
Lower your utilities - Call your utility companies to see if there are ways to lower your bills or if there are rebates available for making efficiency upgrades. We installed new low-flow toilets at the beginning of the year. We have saved enough money on our water bill, they have paid for themselves at this point. Some counties offer a rebate. Again, it's worth a call. Most gas or electricity companies will perform a free audit for you. The federal government is also offering a number of tax incentives for efficiency improvements.
Entertainment - Check out high school and college activity schedules for plays and sporting events. It's a night out at a much lower cost. Also, look into free days/nights at local museums, art galleries, etc. Make sure you know all the discounts you can get through your memberships, employers, union or church. Triple A members can save 10% at Target.com - 7% at Dell.com.
These are all the tips I can think right now - What about you? What tips do you use to save your pennies, dimes or benjamins? I'd love to hear it!
Before undertaking any changes, it is important to understand your own deal breakers. For example, I will go without the fancy haircut and dye my own hair for $4, but I will not give up cable. In my experience, when I tried to severely cut across the board, I felt like I was deprived and ended up "rebelling" with a $200 Target shopping spree. Now that I give myself permission to spend on some things, I find I don't want to.
Do you find shopping to be a "fun" activity or a necessary evil? I find shopping to be a fun activity. I love walking around Target or surfing Amazon.com and filling my cart with "great deals" or "just what I didn't know I always needed." The difference now is that I realize that shopping is the activity, but buying doesn't have to be so I just put everything back. Sound crazy? Yes, but I spent $500 less at Target alone since I started doing that.
Really Big Things
Reevaluate your deductibles on your auto insurance - Increasing a deductible by $500 can save you between 5 - 25% depending on what you are paying. Only do this if you actually have an extra $1000 saved somewhere, but the savings in your insurance premium can really add up over time . Also, re-base your insurance to the value of your car. The coverage you needed when the car was brand new may not make sense now that the car is 10 years old.
Evaluate your phone, Internet and cable packages to see if there is a better deal out there or cancel cable all together and just use Netflix for $9/month and/or borrow your friends' DVDs. We would never cancel cable. We don't go out much and this is our entertainment budget. Every few months, my husband is able to negotiate getting a premium movie channel free and then we DVR movies to watch so no need for Netflix or rentals or even going out to the movie theater.
Make sure you can afford your car/house - You don't have to have a car payment. You can actually save enough money to buy a car outright. Used cars have come a long way since the advent of leasing. Now, you can easily find cars that are 1 -2 years old, you know have been maintained, still under warranty, and get an accurate Carfax report on any hidden damage. It's all about trade-offs.
Rent out a room in your house - Now, this isn't for everyone, but I know several childless couples who have rented out rooms in their home for a summer or 6 month period to someone who was looking for an apartment, in between college and grad school or some other transient circumstance.
Evaluate what you actually have - Under my sink, I had 24 bars of soap. I had over 100 DVDs that I hadn't watched in years. Don't even get me started on CDs. This has two benefits: 1. You find things you could sell or trade for other things you really want. 2. You stop buying those excess items. I have enough shampoo and conditioner to last me until 2012. Seriously.
Stop using credit cards - The temptation is just too great. You can use your debit card, but then you actually have to pay attention to make sure you don't overdraw on your account. If you are going to use a credit card, make sure you are getting points or cash back and you pay it off every month. I make a credit card payment every two weeks. This helps keep the spending in check while amassing points.
OK so that's it for really big things. In general, I don't think there are a ton of quick and easy solutions to getting a handle on your money. It basically comes down to spending less or earning more. In this economy, earning more is very difficult so it's about spending less. So here's some little things that really add up.
Little Things that Add Up
Kick the Starbucks habit - Seriously. It's not that good. Make your own at home, work with your office manager to get a blend you can stomach at your office, buy a frother and some flavored syrup ($4 a huge bottle) and make the fancy cappuccino noise while you whirl it yourself, or switch to tea - it's better for you. If this is your deal breaker, then buy a Starbucks card with how much you think you can afford for Starbucks for a week or month. When the gift card is gone - you are done.
Create your own go-to meals - I have found it is helpful to have a couple stand-by meals. Meals that you can quickly put together and always have the ingredients for. Ours are: frozen pizza with roasted red peppers, spinach pesto and whole wheat pasta, chicken with red sauce over couscous, chili salad, ravioli and vegetable fried rice. Since all of the ingredients for these dishes can be stored in the freezer or pantry, we always have them. This really helps for those nights we would probably go out because menu planning was the last thing on anyone's mind. It also means I can shop for the best deal on all these ingredients. I know I am going to need them. In fact, I barely pick a recipe to make.
Shop based on deals, not menus - I take about 90 minutes on Sunday, cut coupons, match my coupons to the ads and then buy what I can get the best deal on that I think I will actually use. I had a real wake up call on how useful this one a few weeks ago when I had picked out a recipe I wanted to try, bought all the ingredients and the bill was $40. The day before I had bought almost a cartful of on sale plus coupons items that cost $40 and those ingredients made 5 -6 meals instead of just one. Theoretically, you could even get the kids involved - matching the coupons to the pictures in the ad. Not having children myself, this seems like one of those piece in the sky ideas people without children come up with and try to sell it to parents. For more insight into this style of shopping - check out grocerygame.com. For online coupons - check out coupon.com; redplum.com;smartsource.com
Learn to make soup - Buy produce when it is in season and cheapest. Cut it up, add some seasonings, an onion, some broth and leave it in the slow cooker. Puree and you have soup. Then freeze and now you have more go-to meals for the rest of the year. Same with tomatoes and pasta sauce. Basil and pesto, etc.
Learn what is a good price for something - For a long time, I had thought we were not getting the best deal at our wholesale club. My husband started a spreadsheet to compare the prices we were paying for things to really understand what is a good price for certain items. Here are some of our findings for the Tampa Bay, Florida area:
Bread - $1.70 a loaf
Butter - $1.70 a pound
Frozen pizza - $3 a pizza
Diced Tomatoes - 75 cents a can
Coffee - 17 cents/ ounce
Tide - 11 cents/ ounce
Now, these aren't the best deals we have ever gotten, but these are a good indicator if we are getting a good deal. Sometimes, the best deal is at Walgreen's, sometimes it is at the wholesale club. Watch the ads.
Make the most of gifts - When people ask what you want for a gift and you know they are going to buy you something, ask for something that can help you say money:
- A Sunday subscription to the newspaper (for coupons and ads)
- A magazine subscription
- A bread machine
- A slow cooker
- An immersion blender (for soups and sauces)
- An ice cream maker (ice cream prices are INSANE!)
It will make a big difference - especially if you actually use them.
Have breakfast for dinner once a week - Breakfast foods are the least expensive. Think eggs, bacon, pancake mix, etc. Having breakfast for dinner once a week is cheap, quick and fun. Same thing goes for vegetarian meal once a week - healthy + cheap.
Cupboard challenge - My husband and I will have a cupboard challenge once every few weeks. It's clear we need to go the store because we are down to the bare bones, but we try to see how creative we can be and how long we can go without going to the store. Yes, that means defrosting that thing way in the back of the freezer and cooking it. It could mean making your own biscuits to serve with that dusty can of soup. Our longest record is 4 days, but at that point we were having breakfast for every meal so we went to the store.
Become friends with your local library - Libraries these days are amazing! Most libraries are totally online. You can make a list of what books, movies, CDs you want and then they call you when they come in and you just go pick them up. Some even have audiobooks you can download for free to your iPod. Really. Check it out. I have read tons of books this year. Sure, you have to wait a while. I am still waiting to get the latest Black Eyed Peas, Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift into my hot little hands. But at a savings of $30 - I can wait. Same with movies - the ones I haven't been able to DVR off free movies channels, I am patiently waiting for. I'll get the new James Patterson in about 6 months. In the meantime, I have lots of other books, movies and CDs to keep me busy. I also use it to preview cookbooks or reference books to see if I really like them and will use them. If yes, then I buy them.
Restaurant Eating - We rarely eat out. Between the go-to meals and the sagging shelf of cookbooks, there's really no need. However, I understand, this is not the way of the world for other families. Look for coupons. On restaurant.com, you can get $25 gift certificates for as little at $4. Just subscribe to couponmom.com and she sends out the code to get 80%. Now, these certificates usually have a minimum purchase so they are best used on 4 or more people or to get an appetizer and then bring home leftovers for lunch the next day. Also, research frequent visitor clubs for restaurants you like to frequent. TGI Friday's has a pretty good club. You get coupons like buy one, get one or free appetizer, or $10 off. If you are going to go out, might as well get something for it. The Sunday paper may also have coupons for restaurants. Nicer restaurants may also have price-fixed menus on a slow night during the week. It's worth a phone call.
Lower your utilities - Call your utility companies to see if there are ways to lower your bills or if there are rebates available for making efficiency upgrades. We installed new low-flow toilets at the beginning of the year. We have saved enough money on our water bill, they have paid for themselves at this point. Some counties offer a rebate. Again, it's worth a call. Most gas or electricity companies will perform a free audit for you. The federal government is also offering a number of tax incentives for efficiency improvements.
Entertainment - Check out high school and college activity schedules for plays and sporting events. It's a night out at a much lower cost. Also, look into free days/nights at local museums, art galleries, etc. Make sure you know all the discounts you can get through your memberships, employers, union or church. Triple A members can save 10% at Target.com - 7% at Dell.com.
These are all the tips I can think right now - What about you? What tips do you use to save your pennies, dimes or benjamins? I'd love to hear it!
Happy New Year
As promised - here's my resolutions:
- Be healthy. I am taking a new assignment at work that will involve more travel and responsibility. Last time, this resulted in workaholic hours, bad eating habits and a few too many pub crawls. This time, I resolve to take proactive steps to manage stress, exercise, eat healthy and continue to ensure that my family, friends and husband get the best of me - not what's left over.
- Actually use the cookbooks gathering dust on the shelf. I love to buy cookbooks. I have lots of beautiful cookbooks with pictures of amazing food. This year, I am going to make some of that amazing food. Each month, I am going to pick a cookbook and make at least 4 dishes out of the cookbook. I'll share the results here - minus the cursing, cries of desperation and mess of course.
- Be charitable. Carve out time to volunteer. Select charities and be intentional in giving.
- Get a better handle on my finances and develop a concrete plan to save for retirement. I will not be an elderly person eating dog food out of trunk of my broke-down Saturn Vue.
- Laugh a lot and often
- Try to limit reality TV to 4 shows. JUST KIDDING! We all know that is impossible.
I am more excited for this year than I have ever been. I had always tried to imagine how I thought my life would be and it has turned out way better than I ever imagined so I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me. What are you hoping for this year? What are you looking forward to?
- Be healthy. I am taking a new assignment at work that will involve more travel and responsibility. Last time, this resulted in workaholic hours, bad eating habits and a few too many pub crawls. This time, I resolve to take proactive steps to manage stress, exercise, eat healthy and continue to ensure that my family, friends and husband get the best of me - not what's left over.
- Actually use the cookbooks gathering dust on the shelf. I love to buy cookbooks. I have lots of beautiful cookbooks with pictures of amazing food. This year, I am going to make some of that amazing food. Each month, I am going to pick a cookbook and make at least 4 dishes out of the cookbook. I'll share the results here - minus the cursing, cries of desperation and mess of course.
- Be charitable. Carve out time to volunteer. Select charities and be intentional in giving.
- Get a better handle on my finances and develop a concrete plan to save for retirement. I will not be an elderly person eating dog food out of trunk of my broke-down Saturn Vue.
- Laugh a lot and often
- Try to limit reality TV to 4 shows. JUST KIDDING! We all know that is impossible.
I am more excited for this year than I have ever been. I had always tried to imagine how I thought my life would be and it has turned out way better than I ever imagined so I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me. What are you hoping for this year? What are you looking forward to?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Do you make resolutions? If so, do you follow them?
Well, I think most of my resolutions could be summed up pretty well:
To kiss a boy
To stop kissing the wrong boys
To find a boy to kiss forever
And thankfully, after this year, I can finally check that last one off the list. So what the heck am I going to resolve now?!
Actually, for the last 4 years, I have tried to make resolutions that are more goals to accomplish. I have come to realize it doesn’t make sense to me to take make a major life changing resolution like losing weight because that is an issue I have been dealing with my whole life and will deal with my whole life. The dedication and focus required to accomplish that goal on a daily basis are so much more than just a number on a list.
So instead, I focus on things I can review on a monthly basis and try to check a few off. To give some perspective, here are my 2008 resolutions:
1. One trip or social event per month – To add some context, I had just moved to Tampa and had adopted a somewhat workaholic, hobbit lifestyle so the point of this was to get out, enjoy and learn more about the area.
2. Visit 3 new baseball stadiums
3. Travel to one new city
4. Travel overseas
5. Read at least one new book/month
6. Volunteer one Saturday per month
7. One event with the girls each month
8. Walk regularly
9. See all the Tampa Bay Sports Teams play
10. One new restaurant or bar per month
I did pretty well on accomplishing these goals. I definitely accomplished the goals related to dining and travelling. See it's easy to accomplish your resolutions when you make them about things you already like to do! Genius!
My list for 2009 was much shorter:
1. Get married
2. Paint and organize house
3. Train for and complete the Minneapolis 3 Day
4. Visit 2 new ballparks
5. Take 3 day trips (not accomplished)6. Learn to make cheese (likely moving to the 2010 list)
I am still working on my list for 2010 – though I think it will definitely be more focused on frugality, volunteering and developing new skills. I’ll post that later this week, but for now, what are some of your goals or hopes for 2010?
To kiss a boy
To stop kissing the wrong boys
To find a boy to kiss forever
And thankfully, after this year, I can finally check that last one off the list. So what the heck am I going to resolve now?!
Actually, for the last 4 years, I have tried to make resolutions that are more goals to accomplish. I have come to realize it doesn’t make sense to me to take make a major life changing resolution like losing weight because that is an issue I have been dealing with my whole life and will deal with my whole life. The dedication and focus required to accomplish that goal on a daily basis are so much more than just a number on a list.
So instead, I focus on things I can review on a monthly basis and try to check a few off. To give some perspective, here are my 2008 resolutions:
1. One trip or social event per month – To add some context, I had just moved to Tampa and had adopted a somewhat workaholic, hobbit lifestyle so the point of this was to get out, enjoy and learn more about the area.
2. Visit 3 new baseball stadiums
3. Travel to one new city
4. Travel overseas
5. Read at least one new book/month
6. Volunteer one Saturday per month
7. One event with the girls each month
8. Walk regularly
9. See all the Tampa Bay Sports Teams play
10. One new restaurant or bar per month
I did pretty well on accomplishing these goals. I definitely accomplished the goals related to dining and travelling. See it's easy to accomplish your resolutions when you make them about things you already like to do! Genius!
My list for 2009 was much shorter:
1. Get married
2. Paint and organize house
3. Train for and complete the Minneapolis 3 Day
4. Visit 2 new ballparks
5. Take 3 day trips (not accomplished)6. Learn to make cheese (likely moving to the 2010 list)
I am still working on my list for 2010 – though I think it will definitely be more focused on frugality, volunteering and developing new skills. I’ll post that later this week, but for now, what are some of your goals or hopes for 2010?
Monday, December 28, 2009
What's your advice for a first time Disney visitor?
The short version:
- Bring refillable water bottles and a couple snacks
- Pick out two or three must see rides in the Parks you are visiting and then play the rest by ear.
- Take advantage of the excellent alcohol options at Epcot.
- Wear good shoes and comfortable clothes
- Have a plan on how to deal with long waits (IE. 20 questions, bring Trivial Pursuit cards, take funny photos, etc.)
The Long Version
On Christmas Eve, my sister, her husband, my husband and I headed to Orlando for some Disney magic. This was my sister's first trip in many years and we wanted to cover as much territory as possible. Before the trip, we had sent my sister a map of all the attractions at each of the parks. You can also request one from Disney after you book your vacation. She and her husband selected two to three attractions that were MUST See's from three of the parks. And away we went. This is important because if you try to do everything, you will fail. Pick one or two Must See's and then go with the flow of the day.
We arrived at Disney World around 10:00 am. This was later than I would normally arrive because the Magic Kingdom was open until midnight so I knew we were in for a long day. We decided to start at Epcot - assuming correctly that Magic Kingdom would be a mob scene of munchkins. Epcot wasn't too busy. The boys went to get buttons from Guest Services (we had a First Time Visitor and a Happy Birthday). Then, we immediately went right to Soarin' - a virtual reality hang gliding ride at The Land. It is the best ride at Epcot and one of the best in the Park. The wait was 80 minutes so we hunkered down. The great thing about Soarin' is that there are interactive games to play while you wait. Everyone needed a snack so we opened up the backpack and got out our refillable water bottles and bags of chips. We always bring a refillable water bottle and one or two snacks. There are water fountains throughout all the Parks where you can refill and save $2 a bottle. The ride was fantastic.
Then off we headed to #2 on the list: Test Track. Test Track is a high speed car ride. This ride has a single rider line. Because the ride is two rows of three people per car and they want the cars to be full, this line moves very quickly. In our case, the wait was 120 minutes in the regular line and less than 5 minutes in the Test Track line. You will not be able to ride with anyone from your party so this is not a good option for parents and kids, but a great option if you've successfully avoided procreation or pawned off your children on someone else.
After Test Track, we headed to the World Showcase for lunch. We chose Mexico and had some great nachos and margaritas at the quick service Cantina. We walked around the world. My sister and her husband rode the Norway ride because the line was short. My husband and I got beers in Germany. (There's a whole pub crawl you could do at the World Showcase - maybe I'll post about that in the future). After France, we crossed over the bridge and headed to the left to take the boat to Hollywood Studios. This is a good insider tip. At this point, we had seen more than half of the World Showcase and we avoided having to walk all the way back through the park to get on the bus. The boat takes the same amount of time as a bus, but we've found it's less of a wait on the boat plus you get to see the Boardwalk and several of the resorts.
I have also discovered good "nap" options - rides that are long, dark, air conditioned, allow for a quick power nap and have very few lines. The nap option at Epcot is Ellen's Energy Adventure.
Hollywood Studios
Toy Story Mania is the must see ride at Hollywood Studios. It is fabulous and worth the wait. When we got there the wait was 120 minutes so we decided to go to the American Idol Experience and hope the wait decreased as it got closer to dinnertime. The American Idol Experience is a good time. It's also air conditioned and lasts 45 minutes when you need a break on a hot day. Our strategy worked. When we got back over to the ride, the wait was down to 80 minutes. This is an amazing 3D ride. The Wii game is a good facsimile, but this is just awesome. After Toy Story Mania, we walked over to the Aerosmith Rockin' Roller Coaster, but the single rider line was closed and no one wanted to wait 80 minutes. We had dinner at the food court by Rockin' Roller Coaster, across from Beauty and the Beast. This is a great spot because it has barbecue, pizza, burgers, and a healthy food stand with smoothies and fruit. Bellies full - we went to see the Osburne Holiday Light Spectacular. And folks, it is spectacular. It's like the neighborhood house that everyone drives slowly by finally grew up. It even "snows". It took my breath away and brought a little tear to my eye. The best thing about this holiday light display is that it starts at dusk and goes until the park closes - you don't have to be there at a certain time.
Nap Options: The Muffets 3D movie. The movie is actually a lot of fun so I would recommend watching it then using it as a nap option. Also, the Great Movie Ride rarely has a line so it's a good rest option as well.
Magic Kingdom
Having hit the high points at Hollywood Studios we headed out to catch the bus to the Monorail to Magic Kingdom. We got there around 8 pm - about an hour before the 9 pm evening parade. This is a GREAT time to visit because everyone is securing "good" spots to view the parade so the lines are very short. We headed to Splash Mountain - my husband's favorite ride. We got a FastPass* for 90 minutes away but the line was only 20 minutes long so they headed onto the ride. Then just to the right as you exit Splash Mountain is Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Unfortunately, the ride malfunctioned while in line so the roller coaster riders didn't get a chance to ride it. We headed across the park to Space Mountain. On the way, we passed It's a Small World. It had a 5 minute wait so we all scrunched ourselves into a row to enjoy the show. Space Mountain was closed because it also was malfunctioning so we went to the 3D movie "Philharmagic". Each of the parks has a 3D movie and this is the best - hands down. As we exited the 940 pm show - the fireworks were in full effect - right above our heads. This is a great place to view them because they are right over your head and it's not as crowded as the main walkways. We headed back to Splash Mountain for one last ride. We decided not to stay for the 11 pm parade, but this is a good plan if you are thinking about watching the parade. Go on Splash Mountain or Big Thunder Mountain Railroad around the time for the parade because when you are done with the ride - the parade will just be going by that side of the park. It was a mob scene getting out of the park, but we decided to take the Ferry instead of the Monorail because the Ferry can take over 300 people per trip. I think this was the best decision. We headed back to the car and drove home.
Nap Option - Hall of Presidents. It is a cool animatronic show of the Presidents, but I fall asleep every time.
*FastPass is a system where you can get a ticket to come back to a ride later in the day. It's a good idea to head to your must see rides to see if a Fast Pass is available. You can only have one FastPass at a time for the most part. For some of the more popular rides, you may get a Fast Pass that is over 6 hours away. In that case, the Fast Pass will list a time when you can get your next Fast Pass for a different ride. For instance, one time we got to Toy Story Mania at 10:30 am and the Fast Pass that were available were for 4:40 pm so our Pass said we could get another pass at 12:40 pm.
- Bring refillable water bottles and a couple snacks
- Pick out two or three must see rides in the Parks you are visiting and then play the rest by ear.
- Take advantage of the excellent alcohol options at Epcot.
- Wear good shoes and comfortable clothes
- Have a plan on how to deal with long waits (IE. 20 questions, bring Trivial Pursuit cards, take funny photos, etc.)
The Long Version
On Christmas Eve, my sister, her husband, my husband and I headed to Orlando for some Disney magic. This was my sister's first trip in many years and we wanted to cover as much territory as possible. Before the trip, we had sent my sister a map of all the attractions at each of the parks. You can also request one from Disney after you book your vacation. She and her husband selected two to three attractions that were MUST See's from three of the parks. And away we went. This is important because if you try to do everything, you will fail. Pick one or two Must See's and then go with the flow of the day.
We arrived at Disney World around 10:00 am. This was later than I would normally arrive because the Magic Kingdom was open until midnight so I knew we were in for a long day. We decided to start at Epcot - assuming correctly that Magic Kingdom would be a mob scene of munchkins. Epcot wasn't too busy. The boys went to get buttons from Guest Services (we had a First Time Visitor and a Happy Birthday). Then, we immediately went right to Soarin' - a virtual reality hang gliding ride at The Land. It is the best ride at Epcot and one of the best in the Park. The wait was 80 minutes so we hunkered down. The great thing about Soarin' is that there are interactive games to play while you wait. Everyone needed a snack so we opened up the backpack and got out our refillable water bottles and bags of chips. We always bring a refillable water bottle and one or two snacks. There are water fountains throughout all the Parks where you can refill and save $2 a bottle. The ride was fantastic.
Then off we headed to #2 on the list: Test Track. Test Track is a high speed car ride. This ride has a single rider line. Because the ride is two rows of three people per car and they want the cars to be full, this line moves very quickly. In our case, the wait was 120 minutes in the regular line and less than 5 minutes in the Test Track line. You will not be able to ride with anyone from your party so this is not a good option for parents and kids, but a great option if you've successfully avoided procreation or pawned off your children on someone else.
After Test Track, we headed to the World Showcase for lunch. We chose Mexico and had some great nachos and margaritas at the quick service Cantina. We walked around the world. My sister and her husband rode the Norway ride because the line was short. My husband and I got beers in Germany. (There's a whole pub crawl you could do at the World Showcase - maybe I'll post about that in the future). After France, we crossed over the bridge and headed to the left to take the boat to Hollywood Studios. This is a good insider tip. At this point, we had seen more than half of the World Showcase and we avoided having to walk all the way back through the park to get on the bus. The boat takes the same amount of time as a bus, but we've found it's less of a wait on the boat plus you get to see the Boardwalk and several of the resorts.
I have also discovered good "nap" options - rides that are long, dark, air conditioned, allow for a quick power nap and have very few lines. The nap option at Epcot is Ellen's Energy Adventure.
Hollywood Studios
Toy Story Mania is the must see ride at Hollywood Studios. It is fabulous and worth the wait. When we got there the wait was 120 minutes so we decided to go to the American Idol Experience and hope the wait decreased as it got closer to dinnertime. The American Idol Experience is a good time. It's also air conditioned and lasts 45 minutes when you need a break on a hot day. Our strategy worked. When we got back over to the ride, the wait was down to 80 minutes. This is an amazing 3D ride. The Wii game is a good facsimile, but this is just awesome. After Toy Story Mania, we walked over to the Aerosmith Rockin' Roller Coaster, but the single rider line was closed and no one wanted to wait 80 minutes. We had dinner at the food court by Rockin' Roller Coaster, across from Beauty and the Beast. This is a great spot because it has barbecue, pizza, burgers, and a healthy food stand with smoothies and fruit. Bellies full - we went to see the Osburne Holiday Light Spectacular. And folks, it is spectacular. It's like the neighborhood house that everyone drives slowly by finally grew up. It even "snows". It took my breath away and brought a little tear to my eye. The best thing about this holiday light display is that it starts at dusk and goes until the park closes - you don't have to be there at a certain time.
Nap Options: The Muffets 3D movie. The movie is actually a lot of fun so I would recommend watching it then using it as a nap option. Also, the Great Movie Ride rarely has a line so it's a good rest option as well.
Magic Kingdom
Having hit the high points at Hollywood Studios we headed out to catch the bus to the Monorail to Magic Kingdom. We got there around 8 pm - about an hour before the 9 pm evening parade. This is a GREAT time to visit because everyone is securing "good" spots to view the parade so the lines are very short. We headed to Splash Mountain - my husband's favorite ride. We got a FastPass* for 90 minutes away but the line was only 20 minutes long so they headed onto the ride. Then just to the right as you exit Splash Mountain is Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Unfortunately, the ride malfunctioned while in line so the roller coaster riders didn't get a chance to ride it. We headed across the park to Space Mountain. On the way, we passed It's a Small World. It had a 5 minute wait so we all scrunched ourselves into a row to enjoy the show. Space Mountain was closed because it also was malfunctioning so we went to the 3D movie "Philharmagic". Each of the parks has a 3D movie and this is the best - hands down. As we exited the 940 pm show - the fireworks were in full effect - right above our heads. This is a great place to view them because they are right over your head and it's not as crowded as the main walkways. We headed back to Splash Mountain for one last ride. We decided not to stay for the 11 pm parade, but this is a good plan if you are thinking about watching the parade. Go on Splash Mountain or Big Thunder Mountain Railroad around the time for the parade because when you are done with the ride - the parade will just be going by that side of the park. It was a mob scene getting out of the park, but we decided to take the Ferry instead of the Monorail because the Ferry can take over 300 people per trip. I think this was the best decision. We headed back to the car and drove home.
Nap Option - Hall of Presidents. It is a cool animatronic show of the Presidents, but I fall asleep every time.
*FastPass is a system where you can get a ticket to come back to a ride later in the day. It's a good idea to head to your must see rides to see if a Fast Pass is available. You can only have one FastPass at a time for the most part. For some of the more popular rides, you may get a Fast Pass that is over 6 hours away. In that case, the Fast Pass will list a time when you can get your next Fast Pass for a different ride. For instance, one time we got to Toy Story Mania at 10:30 am and the Fast Pass that were available were for 4:40 pm so our Pass said we could get another pass at 12:40 pm.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
What were your favorite books of 2009?
Thanks to my trusty library card I have read a lot of books this year, but these are the books that really stand out in my mind as I sit here today. Enjoy and get a library card!
Three cups of tea by Greg Mortenson
Greg Mortenson was a high altitude climber who ended up in a small Pakistan village after a climb went wrong. After spending time there, he came to realize his call in life was to build schools in Pakistan. This book is an absolute page turner. It really shines a light into life in Pakistan. I found this particularly interesting given our ongoing war in Afghanistan. A must read!
I’ll scream later by Marlee Matlin
Marlee Matlin’s autobiography is fantastic. I really didn’t know much about her or her life when I started reading this book. Her story is fascinating, scandalous and a joy to read.
Joanne Fluke Murder Mysteries
Joanne Fluke has a series of murder mysteries that take place in a small town in Minnesota. The heroine is a bakery owner who always stumbles into murders and then somehow outsmarts the police into finding the killer. I love these books for a few reasons: 1. They have recipes for delicious baked goods. 2. The heroine is a pudgy, wild-haired, over 30 bakery owner who is juggling a minimum of two boyfriends. 3. It nails Minnesota. It’s a super easy read. You’ll figure out who did it pretty quickly, but still enjoy the ride.
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
This book fundamentally changed the way I look at food. Kingsolver, a popular author, decided to take a year and live off the land. Her family took a pledge to eat locally and that included growing a lot of their own food. It’s a great format that includes her diary of the challenges she faced, interesting essays by her husband filled with research, and delightful recipes she and her daughter developed.
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
I am a big fan of Malcom Gladwell. This book explores the idea of what makes people the best of the best. He breaks down the differences between the exceptional and the good through research and analysis. I could not put it down. A couple of findings stuck with me: The 10,000 hour rule. He found that what separated the exceptional from the good was 10,000 hours of practice. If someone practices a skill/talent for 10,000 hours over the course of their life, they will become exceptional. He also had a very interesting finding about elite athletes and their birthdays, but I’ll let you discover that one in the book.
A Year of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs
In this book, AJ Jacobs takes on the challenge of living by the rules of the Bible – every single rule. It’s entertaining and enlightening as he grows a beard, follows the fabric rules, and learns he cannot touch women or men because he can never know if they are clean. I found this incredibly useful for all those discussions about “what the Bible says”.
Official Book Club Selection by Kathy Griffin
I have really come to like Kathy Griffin over the years of watching her on the D List. I was pleasantly surprised by her autobiography. I thought it would be a joke book – basically her act on paper. While it does include some laugh out loud moments, the book is an insightful retelling of her ongoing struggle to break into the industry, the hard work it took to get her where she is and the challenges she faced in her family and her failed marriage. Don’t miss the book group discussion guide at the end – HILARIOUS!
What were your favorite books of 2009? (Mommies - it's okay if it's a children's book!)
Three cups of tea by Greg Mortenson
Greg Mortenson was a high altitude climber who ended up in a small Pakistan village after a climb went wrong. After spending time there, he came to realize his call in life was to build schools in Pakistan. This book is an absolute page turner. It really shines a light into life in Pakistan. I found this particularly interesting given our ongoing war in Afghanistan. A must read!
I’ll scream later by Marlee Matlin
Marlee Matlin’s autobiography is fantastic. I really didn’t know much about her or her life when I started reading this book. Her story is fascinating, scandalous and a joy to read.
Joanne Fluke Murder Mysteries
Joanne Fluke has a series of murder mysteries that take place in a small town in Minnesota. The heroine is a bakery owner who always stumbles into murders and then somehow outsmarts the police into finding the killer. I love these books for a few reasons: 1. They have recipes for delicious baked goods. 2. The heroine is a pudgy, wild-haired, over 30 bakery owner who is juggling a minimum of two boyfriends. 3. It nails Minnesota. It’s a super easy read. You’ll figure out who did it pretty quickly, but still enjoy the ride.
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
This book fundamentally changed the way I look at food. Kingsolver, a popular author, decided to take a year and live off the land. Her family took a pledge to eat locally and that included growing a lot of their own food. It’s a great format that includes her diary of the challenges she faced, interesting essays by her husband filled with research, and delightful recipes she and her daughter developed.
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
I am a big fan of Malcom Gladwell. This book explores the idea of what makes people the best of the best. He breaks down the differences between the exceptional and the good through research and analysis. I could not put it down. A couple of findings stuck with me: The 10,000 hour rule. He found that what separated the exceptional from the good was 10,000 hours of practice. If someone practices a skill/talent for 10,000 hours over the course of their life, they will become exceptional. He also had a very interesting finding about elite athletes and their birthdays, but I’ll let you discover that one in the book.
A Year of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs
In this book, AJ Jacobs takes on the challenge of living by the rules of the Bible – every single rule. It’s entertaining and enlightening as he grows a beard, follows the fabric rules, and learns he cannot touch women or men because he can never know if they are clean. I found this incredibly useful for all those discussions about “what the Bible says”.
Official Book Club Selection by Kathy Griffin
I have really come to like Kathy Griffin over the years of watching her on the D List. I was pleasantly surprised by her autobiography. I thought it would be a joke book – basically her act on paper. While it does include some laugh out loud moments, the book is an insightful retelling of her ongoing struggle to break into the industry, the hard work it took to get her where she is and the challenges she faced in her family and her failed marriage. Don’t miss the book group discussion guide at the end – HILARIOUS!
What were your favorite books of 2009? (Mommies - it's okay if it's a children's book!)
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